mentor? i need one.

I went to the first mentor field day training after i had confirmed my mind yesterday. However, i was going there with my half open eyes and blur mind. At first, they placed me in JJ2, but rex is in JJ4. it is ok for me anyway, i juz need time to adapt myself in this new situation. We had carried out 2 field day activities, everything was going alright, juz i was too tired to talk much.

After lunch, which we da pao from black market (i felt very "luo4 po4" abt it), we went back to the same training room. I yawned from the morning until tat time, losing of my energy second by second. Suddenly, the director asked me to come out from the group n asked me some questions.

"Are you falling asleep?"
"Erm...no..."
"Do you really want to involve in this program?"
"yes."
"Are you sure?"
thinking for a while...
"yes..."
"Ok, now i m going to swicth u to another group, the group need you very much, do u want to help me?"
"erm...yes..."I dun have choice, don't me?

Therefore, i went to another group, a group tat is so unfamiliar to me. I like can't catch up their activities, meanwhile, the instructors like "staring" on me to see when i open my mouth. =.=" It was a very very stressful period. I hate this. There were many thought flashed through my brain, I rmb how relax are jungle n kah kuan. I juz want to give up everything....but i know i can't do tat, such irresposible behavior. However, i m not sure tat whether i can be a good mentor by guiding all little brothers n sisters in form 1.

Everything seems not going well today. When going back alone from HELP, i almost take the LRT which going to terminal putra instead of the LRT tat going to asia jaya. Wat's wrong with me? I hope to know it as well. I felt so helpless in tat time, watever comes in my mind is all negative thought. maybe i juz too tired...

tomolo will be better, right? God bless me.