电脑里合时的播出了“他还是不懂"这首歌，
好应景，完全符合了现在自己的心情。
他还是不懂，就是不懂我。
“他还不懂，还是不懂，离开是想要被挽留，
如果开口那只是，我要来的温柔"
我就是不想开口，
以为他会懂。
是我太要求细节还是他对我不细心?
所有的一切还没开始，我已在害怕着结束的那一刻。
不想说自己不坦白，因为他也从没有对我坦白。
仿佛陷身在一堆烟雾中，
我找到了那双手，却不知道他是否愿意带我走出去。
也许彼此都太不了解了，
也许就像塔罗牌说的，
我是被动的那方，无助的自己控制不了局面，
任由他摆布，任由他的行为举动影响自己的情绪。
那未来呢？会是那么悲观吗？
真的就没有结果吗？
我好难过。。。
2007年8月18日星期六
rubbish...get away from me!!!!
我这几天是犯了太岁吗？
还是这个社会真的很严重的病了？
我就快招架不住了，
在这个人们都无法控制自己的行为下，
我受伤了。
他们不知道羞耻吗？
不会为自己的行为负责任吗？
那他们和禽兽有什么不同？
当你们得到某种我不能理解的满足后，
又想过其他人的感受吗？
我真的很恨，恨为什么自己的好心会换来伤害？
之前的那次更离谱，我把他当朋友，
耐心的聆听他，可是我得到了什么？
除了一堆的谎话和不堪入耳的话语，
我帮到了谁？
只是伤害了自己。
我讨厌这么笨的自己，
为什么要让我遇到呢？
我恨。。。。
还是这个社会真的很严重的病了？
我就快招架不住了，
在这个人们都无法控制自己的行为下，
我受伤了。
他们不知道羞耻吗？
不会为自己的行为负责任吗？
那他们和禽兽有什么不同？
当你们得到某种我不能理解的满足后，
又想过其他人的感受吗？
我真的很恨，恨为什么自己的好心会换来伤害？
之前的那次更离谱，我把他当朋友，
耐心的聆听他，可是我得到了什么？
除了一堆的谎话和不堪入耳的话语，
我帮到了谁？
只是伤害了自己。
我讨厌这么笨的自己，
为什么要让我遇到呢？
我恨。。。。
2007年8月13日星期一
A new beginning or a sad ending?
I hv to apologize by being negative again, just indulge myself for one more moment cuz i m juz kind of person who like to think too much, especially sad thing. In chinese, it called 作贱。
Now in front of me is something tat i very very wish to own it,.with whole my heart. However, b4 i make the decision, I'd already think of the bad consequances. Yea i put " 's" bcoz i think more than one bad consesquence.
The higher I expect, I afraid that the higher i disappointed.
The more I care, the more I can't bear with the lost.
Yes and No have been fighting in my mind, every single moment, like angel and devil.
However, I still hv to be brave,
"It is through pain that we define ourselves, it is through hardship that we rise higher" -A. Asohan.
Gambateh for myself!!
Now in front of me is something tat i very very wish to own it,.with whole my heart. However, b4 i make the decision, I'd already think of the bad consequances. Yea i put " 's" bcoz i think more than one bad consesquence.
The higher I expect, I afraid that the higher i disappointed.
The more I care, the more I can't bear with the lost.
Yes and No have been fighting in my mind, every single moment, like angel and devil.
However, I still hv to be brave,
"It is through pain that we define ourselves, it is through hardship that we rise higher" -A. Asohan.
Gambateh for myself!!
positive thinking is...?
what is positive thinking??
can it be...
when the bird shit on your head, u thanks God that Elephant won't fly?
when u are alone, u glad that u hv more personal space?
when u hv nobody to love or to be loved, u happy that u can survive by urself?
when u found ur mistake, u appreciate that u still hv space to be improve?
when ur bf leave u, u find tat u can hv a better one after crying for 3 days?
for me, a quite negative person, i always hope that i can hv positive thinking all the time.
But start from today, i will start to practice how to become more positive, to make it bcome a habit, and a habit is formed by "pretending". Pretend that i m a positive person, pretend tat i m always happy, pretend that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Yea, when the "pretending" bcome reality, here is the way i can continue my life journey happily.
can it be...
when the bird shit on your head, u thanks God that Elephant won't fly?
when u are alone, u glad that u hv more personal space?
when u hv nobody to love or to be loved, u happy that u can survive by urself?
when u found ur mistake, u appreciate that u still hv space to be improve?
when ur bf leave u, u find tat u can hv a better one after crying for 3 days?
for me, a quite negative person, i always hope that i can hv positive thinking all the time.
But start from today, i will start to practice how to become more positive, to make it bcome a habit, and a habit is formed by "pretending". Pretend that i m a positive person, pretend tat i m always happy, pretend that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Yea, when the "pretending" bcome reality, here is the way i can continue my life journey happily.
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